(The) Wendigo (Ithaqua)

The Wendigo's agonising howl is unmistakable, carried through the tundral sleet by freezing winds, and is almost always disfiguring to the hearer.  The Wendigo is the creature behind the myths of the Banshee, the Gorgon, and the Abominable Snowman, and its desultory wail is both hypnotic and utterly destructive.

Preferring sub-zero temperatures, the Wendigo tends to inhabit the surface of the Crystal Spheres, the gaps between the stars, frozen ice-flats, and alpine terrain, and is rarely encountered anywhere nice.  When on Earth, Ithaqua sweats like a fucking pig, and constantly complains about how muggy it is.  Even when summoned, Ithaqua does not stay on Earth long.

This immensely-tall, gangly humynoid creature appears to walk on the mists, and leaves no trace on the snow-covered grounds it prefers.  Rarely encountered alone, the Wendigo is most often surrounded by its ‘groupies’ – strange deformed ex-humyns who, metamorphosed under Ithaqua’s transformative ‘song’, serve it as scouts, companions, and in other filthy unguessable ways.  “In humans, this transformation leads to the complete destruction of the feet, immunity to freezing temperatures, and unendurable cannibalistic tendencies which bring on madness” (Peterson, Sullivan, Wallis (et al), 1988); but there are downsides, too.

Although the Wendigo has only been encountered in the far North of the planet to date, there is a large body of work suggesting that a ‘matching’ or ‘inverted’ Ancient Being exists in the Antarctic, a being known as ‘Aquathi (the Bendigo)’.  Both Ithaqua and Aquathi appear to spend a large amount of ‘time’ in our solar system’s Oort Cloud; Ithaqua frequents at least one other star system.

In the last twenty years, some researchers have alleged that Ithaqua and Aquathi may be members of an extremely powerful intergalactic subspecies of Ancient One, each member controlling vast hyper-realms of several entire solar systems (Hike, 1983).

This may, or may not, be the case.

Wuthoqquan's Bane

A school of preternatural exometaphorlogy makes the case that many of the Ancient Ones are actually not that Ancient at all, and that, rather than Spawning the Universe and dwelling Beyond Time Itself, actually just come from Saturn.  Some say this about Tsathoggua, some about Hziulquoigm-nzhah, and some about Wuthoqquan's Bane.  

Saturn?  Come off it; these are the Ancient Ones, not Mork from Ork.  Maybe they stopped off at Saturn to do a bit of shopping, pick up something for the kids; maybe they were briefly visiting Saturn just to finally see those Rings everyone’s been talking about; perhaps they even moved there for a short time.  But to suggest that they originated there is nigh on heresy; a laughable heresy that will not only see one ridiculed, but could very well see one dead.

Whatever the case, it must be said that we cannot help but wonder who Wuthoqquan was, and exactly what s/he did to get on the wrong side of this particular Thing That Should Not Be...

...and how to avoid doing that specific act ourselves.

Yahwehcology

In all respects, Yahwehcology (also known as Whycology, Ecotheosophicancy, Primocology, Whysophistry, and Primoyaesthetics) is a lot more than mere Bioflexography.  It is almost an art.   Given the similarities between Bioflexography and Lisdexiology, it takes many years of practise before one is usually aware that Yahwehcology isn’t just a more advanced form of Bioflexographics, and the misunderstanding is almost expected.  However, once fully appreciated, the sheer artistry of the qualified Yahwehcologist is truly breath-taking.  Never have I learned so much, nor so quickly, than when I have been allowed to watch (and beleive me, watching is all I’d want to do!) a certified Yahwehcologist in action.

Van Heusanders himself, though not a Yahwehcologist proper, recognised its inherent beauty when he said that “there is no Picture of Nature, no Ferny Gully nor Bended Willow, that can compare to that Obscur’d Art”.

We think we speak for everyone when we heartily agree.

(The) Yellow Sign

If there is a picture of the actual Yellow Sign, we would love to see it.  All we have is desciptions, frustratingly vague at that.  One fragment from the Book of Eibon evokes the ‘Hornse of a Black Goat, join’d in thee Midd’l, tho’ Yello as Pus’; another scrap from the fabled Plungericon would have it that the Yellow Sign is ‘the Breasts of Babylon, the All-Mother’s sucklinge Teats, rais’d to Orion, from whens we Came’; still other descriptions mention the ‘yellow wings’ or the ‘eyebrows of Be’elzebub’.

Whatever it looks like, this Powagram is inevitably linked to Hastur, and may contain some of his terrifying supranaturalities.  Approach this Sign with care (especially if you’re using the Drive-Thru).

Yian

Yog-sothoth

Kinda like bubbles, kinda like a laser light show, kinda like a swirling hypergeometric julia set, and kinda like a massive clump of zero-gravity frog-spawn, Yog-Sothoth (or ‘Iak Sakkak’, as certain peoples have known it) is as attractive as it is ugly, as charming as it is nauseating.  One of the cryptic Ancient Ones, Yog-Sothoth appears as a clustering of glowing organic disco-balls, continuously shifting, flowing into one another, and bursting.

Yog-Sothoth is, for some inexplicable reason, not tied to the Non Ens like so many of its slimy intergalactic ilk.  Instead, “Yog-Sothoth primarily inhabits an interstitial zone between various dimensions and planes, rendering it coterminous with all time and space” (Peterson, Sullivan, Wallis (et al), 1988); as such, the creature is difficult to accurately position, and very rarely answers its phone.   However, this same hyper-obiquity makes it dangerously easy to summon, and many theorists are certain that it was this particular Ancient One that the Beatles made contact with so long ago, resulting in the horrifying consequences we are all now quite familiar with.   

Despite these risks, “most hard metaphysicians still routinely turn to Yog-Sothoth as the key intermediary for reconnaissance and exploration of otherwise inaccessible interstellar bodies and dimensions” (Peterson, Sullivan, Wallis (et al), 1988); indeed, even in tomes reckoned Beyond Antiquity, Yog-Sothoth is the “Opener of the Way” and the “Provider of Strange Wisdom” (Hutchinson, 1864).

"Yog- Sothoth knows the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the key and guardian of the gate.  Past – present – future - all are one in Yog-Sothoth. He knows where the Old Ones broke through of old - and where They shall break through again. He knows where They have trod earth’s fields - and where They still tread them - and why no one can behold Them as They tread.”

H. P. Lovecraft

Zo-Kalar

The chromium godling of Birth and Death, he refuses to buy anything at McDonalds except the chips.  

Oh, maybe one of those sundaes.